Eliminate Distancing Verbs aka Filter Words

Distancing verbs are words that filter the reader’s experience by placing them one step away from the narrative. How do they do this?

-They hedge. These words can appear hesitant or unconfident. Just say it, don’t hedge.

-They remind the reader that he/she is reading. You want to draw the reader in so he/she is absorbed into the character’s thoughts and actions.

-They are weak verbs. You can use strong verbs without turning to purple prose.

Examples of distancing verbs and words:

Realize                                   Saw

Watched                               Looked

Seemed                                 Felt

Can                                         Decided

Sounded                               Knew

Heard                                     Thought

Touched                                 Wondered

Noticed                                  Was/were able to

Noted                                     Experienced

 

Problem:  The water seemed to be cloudier than ever.

Fix: The water was cloudier than ever.

 

Problem: He thought he’d never seen a cuter dog.

Fix: He’d never seen a cuter dog.

 

Problem: She felt sad when she lost the race.

Fix: Tears ran down her face when she crossed the finish line in second place.

 

Problem: They saw two buzzards eating a dead skunk.

Fix: Two buzzards pecked at a dead skunk.